Devin's Blog
I remember when I was about nine years old and watching my mother give Devin a shot. Sometimes this shot would be in her leg or arm or butt. Almost never in her belly; and while the stomach is the best place to get a shot Devin hated having it done there because she couldn't stand seeing the needle going into herself. One time (and i don't remember who asked) one of us kids asked my mom, why she flicks the needle, turns it upside down and pushes the bubble out. She said because if she left the bubble in the needle then Devin could get a bubble in her butt and that would not be good. Hence why Devin has the nickname Bubble Butt.
I do not remember a time when i didn't know that Devin couldn't have kids. It was just a fact of life. My mom was always straight forth and honest with any questions that we had. Like why Devin got shots every day, why she was so much shorter, what are all the docotrs appointments for and why is she so happy that her bones are eight years old now. Shes ten!
I always knew it was because she had turners syndrome. I never fully understood what turners syndrome was; and even today while I can tell you what it is, and what some of the symptoms are, I don't think I fully understand it completely.
One of the biggest effects of turners syndrome is that the woman can not ever have any kids; her ovaries don't ever develop. Growing up we like to tell Devin that she as lucky she couldn't have kids because she never had to get fat, and she got to pick her kids and she could have the black baby girl that we always wanted! (we love pouffy hair in my family)
I do not remember a time when i didn't know that Devin couldn't have kids. It was just a fact of life. My mom was always straight forth and honest with any questions that we had. Like why Devin got shots every day, why she was so much shorter, what are all the docotrs appointments for and why is she so happy that her bones are eight years old now. Shes ten!
I always knew it was because she had turners syndrome. I never fully understood what turners syndrome was; and even today while I can tell you what it is, and what some of the symptoms are, I don't think I fully understand it completely.
One of the biggest effects of turners syndrome is that the woman can not ever have any kids; her ovaries don't ever develop. Growing up we like to tell Devin that she as lucky she couldn't have kids because she never had to get fat, and she got to pick her kids and she could have the black baby girl that we always wanted! (we love pouffy hair in my family)
It was never a question if Devin was going to adopt, it was when and what kind of baby she is going to get! All of her sisters voted for her to have a little black girl, and her mother would always say that she tought Devin should have a little Asian baby; and my father a Hispanic one. (we want a family of color lol)
That was our own sadistic way of trying to make Devin feel better on those occasional days when you could see she was having a hard time with not being able to have a baby. Devin never felt like she was allowed to cry over it, she never thought that she was allowed to be sad about it, or even mourn. She always put on a brave face, she never cursed the Lord or got mad at anyone else over it. Because of that, she is one of the strongest women I know for having the faith that one day god will give her and Jared a baby. Jared is a strong man for going into a marriage knowing that he can never have his own natural children. Most men wouldn't. Any baby they get is going to be so lucky to have them as parents. Even if Jared does wear the silly toe shoes.
That was our own sadistic way of trying to make Devin feel better on those occasional days when you could see she was having a hard time with not being able to have a baby. Devin never felt like she was allowed to cry over it, she never thought that she was allowed to be sad about it, or even mourn. She always put on a brave face, she never cursed the Lord or got mad at anyone else over it. Because of that, she is one of the strongest women I know for having the faith that one day god will give her and Jared a baby. Jared is a strong man for going into a marriage knowing that he can never have his own natural children. Most men wouldn't. Any baby they get is going to be so lucky to have them as parents. Even if Jared does wear the silly toe shoes.
Adoption to me is just one of Gods many miracles. Its his way of being able to turn a storm cloud for one family into a rainbow for another.
Like Jared's mom said 'placing your baby up for adoption is one of the most selfless act someone could do' I agree. It pains me to watch Devin as she try to put on a brave face when another one of her friends or family member get peg and has another baby. Devin was born a mom. She was the mother of Melissa and I growing up. She always is taking care of everyone else and thinks of herself last.
A mother is not someone that gave birth. A mother wipes the tears when they fall. She is up with her children all night when they are sick. She cries for them when they are hurt and cries when they succeed. A mother is a selfless person who puts the needs of her children before her own. Devin has been a mother and grew up in a family who's love is unconditional.
We never doubted that our mother loved us; and I know Devin and Jared's children will never doubt that they love them.
I pray everyday that Devin and Jared will get a baby of their own; and I know without a doubt that they will. I found this poem while cruzing the internet and I think it puts the pain that a soon to be mom feels about waiting to become the new mom.
Like Jared's mom said 'placing your baby up for adoption is one of the most selfless act someone could do' I agree. It pains me to watch Devin as she try to put on a brave face when another one of her friends or family member get peg and has another baby. Devin was born a mom. She was the mother of Melissa and I growing up. She always is taking care of everyone else and thinks of herself last.
A mother is not someone that gave birth. A mother wipes the tears when they fall. She is up with her children all night when they are sick. She cries for them when they are hurt and cries when they succeed. A mother is a selfless person who puts the needs of her children before her own. Devin has been a mother and grew up in a family who's love is unconditional.
We never doubted that our mother loved us; and I know Devin and Jared's children will never doubt that they love them.
I pray everyday that Devin and Jared will get a baby of their own; and I know without a doubt that they will. I found this poem while cruzing the internet and I think it puts the pain that a soon to be mom feels about waiting to become the new mom.
I’m pregnant but my tummy isn’t showing,
And no one ever calls me “little mom”.
My neighbours simply aren’t overflowing
With questions that I’d handle with aplomb.
There are no special clothes to mark my waiting.
Nobody stops and smile as I pass by.
The absence of a due date is frustrating,
And looking at the nursery makes me cry.
When I’m “overdue”, no one will worry.
The phone won’t ring and ring as friends check in.
I can’t induce my labor in a hurry,
My new life as a parent to begin.
Adoption is a wearisome endeavour,
And waiting all alone is not much fun.
To be “with child” a year seems like forever …
Dear God, we’re ready: please send us our baby.
And no one ever calls me “little mom”.
My neighbours simply aren’t overflowing
With questions that I’d handle with aplomb.
There are no special clothes to mark my waiting.
Nobody stops and smile as I pass by.
The absence of a due date is frustrating,
And looking at the nursery makes me cry.
When I’m “overdue”, no one will worry.
The phone won’t ring and ring as friends check in.
I can’t induce my labor in a hurry,
My new life as a parent to begin.
Adoption is a wearisome endeavour,
And waiting all alone is not much fun.
To be “with child” a year seems like forever …
Dear God, we’re ready: please send us our baby.
Thank you so much Devin for letting me be apart of adoption month on your blog. I never had the chance to sit down and think about how i truly felt about adoption. You are an amazing woman and Jared is great too. You are lucky to have found him. I can not wait for you to be blessed with your own child, and I can't wait to be her (I love boys but we need more girls!) favorite aunt.
Because we all know that I am the favorite :-)
2 comments:
you are not the favorite aunt but can be the favorite sister. ps- great post
BTW- Bubblebutt came from when Alan had to give Devin a shot in her rear. He did not get the bubbles out of the syringe and thus was born Bubblebutt- courtesy of my awesome gift of giving nicknames.
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